6 Key Ways to Manage Social Anxiety

Matthew Shulman

It is normal to feel nervous and awkward in some social situations. Going on a first date or giving a presentation may give you that uncomfortable feeling of having butterflies in your stomach, for instance.

For some people, though, common, everyday social situations cause extreme anxiety, fear and self-consciousness, and they may become impossible to engage in. You may go to great lengths and come up with many excuses to avoid dating or giving presentations. You may not even be able to eat with acquaintances or write a check at the grocery store, let alone go to a party with lots of strangers.

With anxiety this extreme, you may have social anxiety disorder. Social anxiety disorder is a chronic mental health condition that causes an irrational anxiety or fear of activities or situations in which you believe that others are watching you or judging you. You also fear that you'll embarrass or humiliate yourself.

If you or a loved one has social anxiety disorder, take heart. Effective treatment — often with cognitive behavior therapy, medication and positive coping skills — can improve your quality of life and open up new opportunities.

Social anxiety disorder can be far more crippling than normal shyness, even on the mild end of the disorder's spectrum. Experts offer these tips on how to overcome the symptoms.

1. Pay attention to your breathing. Hyperventilation can bring about a panic attack, so try to take deep, slow breaths.

2. If you're worried about embarrassing yourself at a party or on a date, prepare beforehand by reading the news, catching a broadcast, or seeing a movie. You'll have things to talk about with others.

3. Consider joining an organization like Toastmasters, where speaking to groups is encouraged in a friendly and constructive environment.

4. A lot of anxiety in public situations is normal, but when it becomes pervasive and debilitating, seek the help of a professional. Cognitive-behavior therapy, a form of talk therapy, can help identify unwanted thoughts and develop ways to modify irrational or unrealistic behavior.

5. Psychiatrists sometimes prescribe a combination of cognitive-behavior therapy and medication, which may include selective serotonin-reuptake inhibitors, or SSRIs, other antidepressants, beta blockers, or short-acting benzodiazepines that can help calm you down.

6. After several preparatory sessions, a psychotherapist may bring you into uncomfortable situations in order to engage your feelings head-on and challenge your negative thoughts and associations with those experiences.

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